Kash Mai Ladka Hota – I Wish I Were a Boy, says Tabi in anguish

By: Shah Khursheed

Twitter: @the_news_21

Srinagar: This is my friend, Tabi. One of the main reasons I got into writing about her was because I was inspired by the way she used to communicate with her friends and family. I was always keen on listening to her speak to people over different media platforms and learned the value of patience and waiting my turn.

In the last few months, Tabi and I formed a deeper bond when I learned how to listen with genuine interest. I learned that she had ambitious plans to travel around the world. She shared her desire to move to south India to pursue her further studies.

Tabi, an aspiring lady from a small village of district Kupwara, had gone through the worst situation in her life. Her parents decided to get her married, right after she passed her first-year exam. While narrating her story, she said her parents were planning to get her married but she wanted to study further.

Her aim was to become a professor. When she realised her parents would not let her study, she approached me for help, after listening to her situation I recommended her to seek possible support from her cousin who was then pursuing his Masters in Mathematics from the University. We tried a lot to convince her parents for her further studies, but they did not pay attention to us, and got her married at a very young age. And this is how her dreams ended up with “Kash Mai Ladka Hota” – I Wish I Were a Boy.

Tabi gaveup all her dreams for the sake of her parents and is now caring for her in-laws. She sacrificed her future, and this is how our society works. Listening to her tale of woe broke my heart.

Isn’t it weird? Isn’t it like breaking the wings of a bird and then asking it to fly? There is a lot to unload on this particular subject. We have created a stereotypical mindset in society which affects the dreams and desires of a woman at an early age. It manifests itself into discouragement for young girls.

There is a typical stereotype frame of mind in our society for them, we finite our women to certain fields and streams. I believe mindset needs to be changed. We need to create a better friendly environment for women, where they can choose between their desires and families. Where they are allowed to pursue and achieve their goals, where they are allowed to look after and grow as much as they can.

I sign this off with this quote, “Wajood-E- Zan Se Hai Tasweer-E-Kainat Mein Rang Ise Ki Saaz Se Hai Zindagi Ka Soz-e-Daroon.”

About the author: The writer Shah Khursheed, hails from Kupwara district of Jammu and Kashmir. He did his graduation in Multimedia and Mass Communication. He is a divisional level debate competition winner 2022 and was awarded by the LG of J&K UT on August 15 earlier this year. Apart from this, he is a motivational speaker cum social worker who speaks and works for the upliftment of society. He can be reached at shahkhursheed918@gmail.com